Anthony Weiner’s Blind Spot

Welcome to a traveling therapist’s blog! I never would have imagined my first blog would be titled ‘Anthony Weiner.’ Anyway, more on that later.

I hope to bring some value to your life. I’m not that confident in my ability to create meaningful blogs on a consistent basis, but we’ll see. I hope to learn and grow and I’m going to rely on some feedback from you so that I can become a better writer. Please feel free to comment and constructively criticize.

Man, I just watched the Anthony Weiner documentary… wow, kind of a sad story in some ways, but boy do I think that guy has something to offer the world…he’s so bright and it feels like he has the people’s best interests in mind… but like he says, he’s got some ‘blind spots.’ This term ‘blind spot’ is an interesting one. I’ve sometimes wondered if I have them and what they are. It takes some willingness to investigate if one is to uncover their blind spot. What is a blind spot? I suppose it is an area in our life, or a part of our personality that we are mostly unaware of, yet it impacts our life in some significant ways.

As a 43 year old who’s never been married or had kids, and is rarely in a long term relationship, some might say that I must have a problem, and I wouldn’t entirely disagree, because who knows, maybe I do have a  problem. I know family and a partner can be the greatest joys life has to offer. Yet, being single and often comfortable with that, what choice do I have but to find meaning and happiness in my unique way? And, are my own blind spots responsible for not having the experience of that ‘greatest joy’ -a family and partner- and if so, what are these f-ing blind spots anyway?

So, let me digress for a moment. Let’s get back to Weiner. He had these moments where he was ruled by his mind. In his case, it was lust. Had he had to tools to rule his mind, rather than be ruled by it, he may have made different choices, and he might be the mayor of NYC today as a result. There are ways to respond (thoughtfully) to mind-states like lust, as opposed to react (instinctually) to it like Weiner did. He was blind to the potential consequences (botched his campaign, marriage, etc) of his ‘reactions.’ There are tools available that teach us how to respond with wisdom instead of react with wrecklessness. I’m sure he’d tell us that looking back on it, there were a few distinct, key moments (choices) that ultimately decided his trajectory. Reacting based on our conditioning is how we are ruled by our mind. Responding with wisdom and skill is how we rule our mind. The difference between reacting vs responding is pausing, and making a decision in that moment that is in alignment with our values.

I hope that I can write about things that can bring about a shift in the reader’s awareness. I also hope the readers will help me shift my awareness.

So what are my blind spots? I know my phone and technology help keep me comfortable and secure in solitude. If it weren’t for phones, Netflix, and finding ways to be content with technology, would I be out in public somewhere and eventually running into my soulmate? Do I get lost in technology because it alleviates my boredom or replaces the social chores and anxiety that come with stepping outside into the real world? Or, is my blindspot something less obvious? Is it how I respond to someone when they look at me oddly (like most girls in Vietnam do) when I tell them I’m 43 and never married. My go-to response is to try to open their mind to the notion that it’s possible for someone to be single and happy. Maybe someone hasn’t married yet because they are smart. I mean, a lot of people tie the knot because they they feel the societal and familial pressure to do so, and probably even more common, they can’t bare the possibility of waiting, because they means continuing to be single, long past the time when someone ‘should’ be single. So, not choosing someone based on self-imposed, societal and family pressure is smart, right? I feel like so many choices are made out of fear, whether or not we recognize it as such. Or, is this all my blind spot? Instead of convincing myself (and them) that I’m happy being single and it’s really ok! to be single, maybe I should be digging deeper into what might be going on with me that could be preventing me from making more long lasting connections. Am I shallow, for example? The answer to that is yes, btw.

Ok, so back to me and my Weiner. We both acknowledge that blind spots exist. We’re both open to looking at them. I think that’s a good first step. Which leads me to the purpose of Taking a closer look at some things which might be of benefit to ourselves and to others, and have a little fun while doing it.

As for you, do you know what your blind spot is?

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